Family jokes
Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t have a home to go to.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy"/"mommy."
I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Family Dollar store.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Hide and seek.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.