Family jokes
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.
Orphans have it lucky.
When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."
When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a homerun. 😂😂
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
Roses are red, Violet are blue, Ur dad bought you.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: I don't have a mom.