Family jokes
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.
Orphans have it lucky.
When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."
When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make a homerun. 😂😂
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."