Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
