Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
What's the difference between a black and a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit."
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
