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Everyone

Everyone jokes

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.

Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?

He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.

Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Teacher: Tell me a moral story.

Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.

Teacher: What is the moral even?

Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"