Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,
I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
