You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,
I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
