Event jokes
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Why did 10 have PTSD?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?
They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?
I would smash the Twin Towers.
Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.
Your hairline is so far back it looks like it got smacked up by Will Smith.
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.