Even jokes
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"