Euphemism jokes
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
"Let's go Brandon!"
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"
Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.