My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
Jakob's life.
Paedophiles are f***ing immature assholes.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Kill yourself!
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
