What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
Environment Jokes
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
Animals are just... so hot!
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.
What's rap boats got in common with plastic bags? They both a danger to young children.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
