Education jokes

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?

You octoply, obviously.

Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?

Student: Apple!

Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?

Student:....Bitch...

Teacher: What is a cow?

Kid: Meat.

Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?

Kid: Eggs.

Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?

Kid: Homework.

What's a witch's favorite subject?

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

Student: How should I know, that's his story?

Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.

Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."

School. School is a slavery joke and a Nazi joke combined.

Type this in your calculator:

5 days a week (type in 5),

6 different classes (type in 6),

7 hours a day (type in 7),

x

2 semesters (type in 2),

=

flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

The principal's office smells nice.