Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
The earth is not round.
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I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
Pedophiles are really stupid and need to leave this earth.
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
The earth is flat.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
