Dying jokes

Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."

Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.

Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

How? She could not run away.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He traveled too far from the outlet.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.

Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."

Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?

Because he died in the Cross 😈

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

'Cause she's a woman.

No, really. Why can't she drive?

Because she died.

Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂

You are so ugly my man died.

Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.

FUCKING MENT

Now their owner is dying.

HAHAHAHA

Man: Die, potato!

Potato: *screams*

I like trains.

Kid: I like trains.

Man: No, wait!

Train: *kills man*

I want to die hahahahhaha.