Dying jokes
My dog died.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.