Dying jokes
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
I'm dying... sike, I lied. You thought I died!
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
Ammon died.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.