Dying jokes
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
Ammon died.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.
BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.