Dying jokes
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Little Johnny died.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.
BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
I'm dying... sike, I lied. You thought I died!
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).