Dying jokes
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.
So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
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Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.