Dying jokes
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.