what makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar? They can't stand up for themselves.
My boyfriend dumped me guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame.....
Whats the same about bins and orphans? They get dumped.
trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border
How to do trick a gay man to have sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
If selena Gomez wasn't really single after justin bieber dump her. I would wait for her to come by my house take her fine ass in my room close my door give her some sex medicine until she masturbate.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump. She really hates it when I spit my food back out. Stephen Hawking
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
me: hey have you seen my butt him: no have you seen where it is me: maybe here on your private part hehe him: dumps my head on the toilet, HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW PERVERT
DUMP IN A STU,MP AHAHAHAHAHAHA
I once had a trash can as a girl friend I was ready to break up with her but all she had to say was "please don't dump me" then I said "sorry i'm ready to take out the trash"
My girlfriend is soo fat that when she runs or walk she falls so I am breaking up with u
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: nooo don’t leave me catch me ahhh
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend:ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend:fat girlfriend:u didn’t catch me wawawawa:boyfriend: get off me 900 pounds ugh I hate u
Story done pls like
Dad\mom:Son,your adopted .son:i know,.*holds up daddys phone that has the text of them talking about it.* dad:babe,we need to talk. mom:ok...... dad:hes grounded. mom:your right,your grounded! oh and im dumping you. son:am i getting a new daddy? mom:soon honey,soon.... dad:i really shouldnt have let her know i cheating
"TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN" ==========================
(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE "HUMP"
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL !!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS !! ..... sniff,sniff ........ Ewww !" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk !... I better go, 'cause I just went !! ..... Ha! ha! ha!"
......"Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY !!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen. ==============================
A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!
Today was like every other day It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary I fear these feelings will never end I’ll always feel so dark feel so hopeless Sometimes all I want is for it to end For all of it to end for all of my thoughts to end I despise the way that always comes to mind But I feel so lost feel so hopeless If something would just work But nothing has worked Nothing can fix this These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope.... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better. Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
