President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Drug Jokes
I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"
What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.
