Drop jokes
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
A young couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!