A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says "Sorry, It was an axe-cident!"
When your uncle drops a nickel but the only thing he really drops is his pants
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone
He got ran over by a bus
Little Johnny is in class one day and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says what's so funny? He said I can see your bra strap. The teacher says don't come back to class for a week, so he get up and walked out. A few minutes later little Billy starts laughing, and she ask what's funny now? Little Billy said I can see both of your bra straps. The teacher says get out of my class room for a month. So little Billy got pissed he walked out and slammed the door, this scared the teacher and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up then she stood back up and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked where do you think your going? He said well teach after what I saw I'm done with school for a lifetime.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
"Officer I dropped kicked that child in self defense." -Techno
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS
How do rappers stay cool in the studio?
They turn on the mic and DROP THE HEAT
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"Drop it like it's HOT"
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS
Why don't rappers ever play hide and seek?
Because good luck HIDING when your NAME’S always dropping
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some WAVES
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party? (Part 1) To drop some WORDPLAY
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught? He kept dropping the bass."
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw a American Boeing B- 29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
