So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her "Hey what’s going on ? Why you cry ? Where are your parents ? What happened ?". The girl said under a crying sad voice "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers then my mother and raped my sister." The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breech cloth then said “Guess this isn’t your day is it”
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!!!!
Why do Down syndrome people alway look funny ... it’s there funny face
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
How to Chinese people name their kids? - They roll down a coin down the staircase and it says, ching chang chong...
Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.
so a cupkake walkes into a bar and sits down the bartender syas to himself dam this is some good shit
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he feel off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What does a blowjob from a 80 year old and Bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush but don't look down
the real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs
I saw stephen king using an atm it is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down
When I was in highschool, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome. We would get into a circle around her and say “nightmare nightmare”
Downed and brownies
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening. "Sure honey! If you suck my dick! So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!" "Oh yeah, I forgot" says the father "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed "I want to see your face again mommy...". A miracle happened, his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said "I want to see you too dad". He looked at his father's grave but nothing happened
Suddenly a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked "were you looking for me?"
A little girl walks into the bathroom see her mom naked taking a shower and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get breasts ..mom say oh when your 12 or 13 ..little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get hair down there ..mom say oh about the same time you get breasts..then the little girl walks in see her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks daddy daddy when am I gunna get one of those ..dad says soon as your mom leaves for work
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away? Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger😂
