Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
DoS Jokes
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
