DoS jokes
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
Memes
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!