DoS jokes
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
Memes
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
My wife told me to stop being an idiot.
I told her, "Which one do you want?"
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.