DoS jokes
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.
Why do kids want to become cops?
They want to find the guy who touched them.
Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?
Because they have to land at houses.
What do you call a stupid meme and a Mexican fighting? Juan on Juan.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
Memes
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family photo.
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
Hi, how are you doing?
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
Why is James ugly? Cuz he do be a nerd with braces.
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"