DoS jokes
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Memes
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.