DoS jokes
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
Memes
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?