DoS jokes
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
Memes
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.