What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
DoS Jokes
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?
Vegetable Soup.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
