DoS jokes
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
Memes
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"