DoS jokes
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
Memes
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."