DoS jokes
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Memes
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"