DoS Jokes

What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.

Why do orphans bully people?

Because they can't get suspended.

Contact Parent _______

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.

Comment this emoji 🤣 if you can relate

Spider-Man is doing a weird stretch in a cartoonish style in front of a brick wall. The image is captioned with the text: "When you wake up from a 3 hour nap and do that weird stretch thing."

A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.

What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

Spoiled milk.

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”