What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no “What are you doing in my house?”
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
i can’t take my dog to the park anymore. why? the ducks keep trying to eat him. why would they do that? because he’s pure-bread.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower? In trouble
a guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl he asked for her number and of course, she said no, he asked the bus driver for advice and he said that girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 pm and look for a statue of an angel so he dresses up as god goes to the grave and she sees him she says oh lord end my misery kill me now and he said only if you do something for me first she replied what is it oh mighty lord he said to have sex with me she agreed they had sex and when she was done sucking his dick he said I have something to tell you he took of his costume and said I'm the guy from the bus and she took off her costume I'm the bus driver. (does anyone remember this it's an old joke someone made or does no one remember this I didn't make this but it went smth like this)
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
