Dont jokes
I don't know what to say.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 😂
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just a joke!
OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?
All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
Don't worry, neither have they.
Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...
AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."
So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! 😊😊😊 But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................
ok like for part two☺☺☺
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star, and Tati Westbrook have gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash. I just don't find their content interesting, and I don't watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.
Okay here's your funny joke!
Who is the best makeup artist?
Just because Jeffree has "Star" at the end doesn't mean he is best.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Why don’t orphans have parents?
'Cause they were abandoned.
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?