Dont jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 😂
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Where’s the English Channel?
Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”