Dont jokes
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
I don't know what to say.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 😂
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.