Dont jokes
Communists don't play Minecraft.
They play Ourcraft.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.