Dont jokes

My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.

Why don’t cheetahs get married?

They always cheat on each other.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

How many people fit in a tree?

I don't know, you tell me.

I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

Why do orphans not use iPhones?

Because they don't have a home button.

People love you.

Don't die.

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

Don't listen.