One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
well i dont have a joke but...i have a poem my dick is red your pussy is blue i...lied to you
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
so i was fucking my daughter the other night and i dont know what was funnier the look on my wife's face or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
mikey dont clean his foreskin dude straight gay
