Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
DONT TO EVER WANNA FUCK A DUDE!!
Why are orphans bad at poker.
They dont know what a full house is
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Whats a rock band that has for men that dont sing?
Mount rushmore
i went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when i saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range, i dont know who snitched...
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
SOn:hey dad im cold can you give me a lift from work
Dad:Hi cold, Nice to meet you sorry i dont pick up strangers
Son:I hate you
what do you call a kid with no arms or legs? dont matter what you call him, he aint coming.
mom:son did u go to school son:whit if i saw yes mom:u r in school slap son:mom am moveing out and am moveingin whit my gf mom:u r whit pls dont move out =( son:mom stop so whit if am moveing out am moveing into my gf home it oley for school mom:will u r kick out of my home son:good mom:am sad now why did he move out
if u like it pls comit down
if ur frundy on a game sud i will kill u in the game u sud saw will if u did kill me i will tell the my more frundy to ban u from the game the frundy sud what u got frundy on the game iack u r not my frundy the all frundy u be ban if u dont get it will af fun if u dont like the text am come for u ok k now like it the end
if u r a big fan of me go to the move and i kill the badguys a if u dont i will be mad and i will be sonic .exe lol
Guys if yall dont stop making hatred stuff im contacting admin
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack *if u dont get it it got stuck in the butt crack*
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
E SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA this is why I dont have friends:(
