Dont jokes
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.