Dont jokes
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
Don't click the link.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!