Dont jokes
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is!
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Orphans don't have parents!!1! ahahahaha ahahaha plz like and subscribe and hit that bell icon #logang #imagamerpersonwedontfuckwiththegenderbinary #wedontfuckingeneral #nofilter #rememberifyousubscribethenisubscribeback
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."