Don't-know jokes
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
Why can orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.