A orphanage is like a horse rescue, you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bitter.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
i just donated 100$ to a blind children charity, suck that no one will see it
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
So i saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, what are you doing?
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: that sounds pretty SIMPle.
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called - sheesh
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations he says, "Thank you for your donation!"
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
I get more care packages than Africa.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
