Donation jokes

My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.

You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

I get more care packages than Africa.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

What do chairs spend on the most?

Chair-ity.

I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.