Donald Trump jokes
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.