Don jokes

Wife

    • "My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

    "Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

    "She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

    "You getting kicked out, bro?"

    "Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

    "Is she one of them woke bitches?"

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    • Depression

    • Hey, how ya doin'?

    Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

    Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

    Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

    Sister

    • Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

    Sister: No, I won't stop.

    Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

    Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

    Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

    Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

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    • Cover

    • Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...

    His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...

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    • Albert Einstein

    • When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

    “I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

    When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

    Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

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