At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”

Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

“Don’t be dumb,make sure she’s numb”

• bill cosby

Q: Why did the Orphan get an IPhone X for their birthday?

A: Cause it don’t have a home button

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry …I stop soon

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?

Because they can’t find the motherboard

They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.

Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?

Because they take Vitamin See!

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?

Roamin’ Numerals.

When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.

Why don’t mountains catch colds? They wear snow caps.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm… Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.

what’s the difference between eggs,and you?eggs get laid,you don’t.