Don jokes

Wife

    • "My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

    "Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

    "She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

    "You getting kicked out, bro?"

    "Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

    "Is she one of them woke bitches?"

  • 1

    • Sister

    • Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

    Sister: No, I won't stop.

    Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

    Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

    Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

    Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

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    • Depression

    • Hey, how ya doin'?

    Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

    Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

    Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

    Woman

    • Hello. Here's my story . An unemployed woman looking for love. I went on tindar because my friends were talking about it. I matched with a guy who asked me weird questions like if i could send pictures on my private areas, Being confident i said no.

    A person is holding a fan of US dollar bills in front of their face. Only their eyes, part of their hat and their hand holding the money can be seen. The background is blurred and dark.
  • 0
    • Don memes

    Albert Einstein

    • When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

    “I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

    When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

    Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

  • 0

    • Cover

    • Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...

    His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...

  • 1

    • Community talk

    • All i try to do is hep yet people just keep fucking turnig against me i just keep amking the same mistaks over and over i keep jumping to incorect conclusions and assume that my next move will help yet it doesn't i just keep hurting and hurting and hurting i'm scared i'm a fucking egotisteccal wimp i don got no more friends irl i j have fake friends here i can't keep my friends i'm fucking miserable if yall knew me irl, youd probably try to avoid me i'm an ugly ass retard with no social life i'm starting to think about ending it al fml i'm pulling people apart i'm just breaking everything i touch i don't feel anything anymore i just feel cold nothing dark

    • Hellloo this post is directly towards Charlie, So Charlie if you see this is directing towards you. First off id like to start off that I dont think its cool that you lash out pointing fingers at everyone and that the votes were not rigged, If you however, took the time and consideration to think "oh maybe I should ask and say my point" like a normal human being would instead of making it a huge thing and saying that… Read more

    • Thank you roman, if its david you are more than dead, make one more post you'll have a dagger where the sun don shine. ^^

    Community