Don Jokes

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

What’s the difference between the twin towers and an airplane landing strip? Don’t know, neither did my dad

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is

Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry ...I stop soon

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?

Because they can’t find the motherboard

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed.

what’s the difference between a lamborghini and a dead body? i don’t have a lamborghini in my garage.

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

Q: Why did the Orphan get an IPhone X for their birthday?

A: Cause it don’t have a home button

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is

They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.

“Don’t be dumb,make sure she’s numb” - bill cosby

Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey

Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma Mom: shut up and keep digging

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.