40+ Don Jokes

There was a kidnapping at school.

Don't worry, he woke up.

If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.

Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.

Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...

His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...

I don't think I'm allergic to this.

If you can relate follow me pls

The image shows a text about promises and expectations, with rain drops as a background. The text reads, "Don't Make Me A Promise. Don't make me a promise you can't keep. Don't tell me things that you don't mean. Don't whisper sweet nothings that I can't hear. Don't tell me you'll meet me then not be there. Don't give me tomorrow and leave me in yesterday. Don't give me things then ask me to pay. Don't say you remember then forget. Don't make me believe you then have regret. Don't say its the truth when its a lie. Don't say hello to tell me goodbye. Don't say this is real when its make believe. Don't say how you feel then act differently. Don't make me laugh then make me weep. Don't make me a promise that you can't keep." At the bottom, it reads, "AngelinaBlue2010".

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

Why can orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.

Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?

The orca Don-tist.

Riddles not jokes.

What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

What has bark but no bite?

There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

What has holes but can carry water?

What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

What can you catch but not throw?

And last one:

What can rule, but not command?

Tell me the answers in the comments.

Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

ふべrt Hubert Wonk Don DingT ding

Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?

Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet all the koalifications!

A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."