Dog jokes
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
What is a dog with only two legs? A human.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
What did one dog say to another dog? I love you.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?
It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.