How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
DOE Jokes
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
