DOE jokes
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make? A. A dino-snore.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
What song does an orphan hate?
"We Are Family."
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.