DOE jokes
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.