DOE jokes
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
Memes
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
š¤
American Communist Lawyers Union.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.