A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating." The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!" The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!” The doctor then looks at him and says “Have you tried icing?”
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam
Doctor: Yup
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor
man: hi doc, i have a problem. i take a shit at 6:00am every morning. doc: whats wrong with that. man: i dont wake up until 8:00am
Yo momma so fat when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make-do with health insurance.
Lil Jimmy:hey doc Doctor:hi sorry but I can’t see u any more Lil Jimmy:why Doctor: because Lil Jimmy I’m a family doctor your an orphan Lil Jimmy:👁👄👁🖕
Doctor: You should stop masturbating. Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for miraculous ladybug childrens show whatever the show is called but its a kids show. Skull emoji. Now they’re searching up pictures of tom holland laughing in their absolute weirdness. I like Tom Holland but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on google docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UADjpQQwxYgFtaj8zX7AlpG5JlN4mmJelBFszgvmHHY/edit :Copy and past in ur search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.
Back To The Future-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY Marty but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing then his friend calls and he is groaning he said he was having cramps so the husband tell the docter "doc turn it up to 40%" so he does and his friend throws up so he said "doc turn it up to 100%" and his friend dies
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you ...”
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?" Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now." Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff." Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim ? She ended up under the doc
Doc: can I help u? Girl: doctor I have pain in my heart? Doc: when did it begin? Girl: right now ( seeing hem like doll ). Doc: hh..do you like me? I know I am handsome... Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. U just look like someone I know. Doc: Who is that? Is ur boyfriend? Girl: No, it’s my pet ( rabbit) his name is Rokie.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. "I don't understand it, Doc", she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas". "Thankfully", she added, "they are at least silent when I fart". Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled. The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract." Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
seems very long. you wont remember the tel number..... I remember it lile this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Patron is shopping for new bra , lady says your size (69) , Dolly says no way that too too too (222) big, so she goes to doctor , Doc I need something to make my boobs smaller , here take (51) pills for 6 days ( x6) and soo she did . days later she ran back to doc, jesus Christ doctor look what happened Im BOOBLESS. 55378008 upside down.
