Disaster jokes
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.