Steven Hawking
Disabled Jokes
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
Retards.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
Gay
Boy
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
I just wanted to say...
These disabled jokes are quite offensive. I'm not disabled in any way, but people reading might be affected in many ways. Yes, some of them are amusing, but there's a difference between having a joke and being plain rude.
Please take my feedback into account. Thanks!
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
